Is EMDR Right for You?

Trauma can have a profound and lasting impact on a person’s emotional, mental, and physical well-being. Many people who experience traumatic events often find themselves struggling with unresolved feelings of fear, anger, and sadness, which can lead to conditions like Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), anxiety, and depression. For those seeking relief, EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) has become a highly effective, evidence-based treatment for trauma.

What is EMDR Therapy?

EMDR therapy is a specialized form of psychotherapy developed to help individuals process and heal from trauma and distressing memories. Unlike traditional talk therapies, EMDR utilizes bilateral stimulation (such as guided eye movements or taps) to help the brain reprocess traumatic memories, reducing their emotional intensity. This allows the individual to integrate these memories in a more adaptive and less distressing way. Unlike traditional talk therapies, EMDR can work without the client recounting all the details of their trauma, which many clients appreciate.

EMDR is based on the idea that trauma disrupts the brain’s ability to process memories effectively. By stimulating both hemispheres of the brain, EMDR helps reorganize and reprocess the way memories are stored, leading to relief and healing.

Why is EMDR Effective for Treating Trauma?

Fast and Efficient Trauma Processing

EMDR therapy is known for producing quicker results. While the exact duration varies for each individual, many people experience significant improvements in as few as 6 to 12 sessions. This makes EMDR an efficient option for those seeking fast relief from trauma-related symptoms such as flashbacks, nightmares, and intrusive thoughts.

Evidence-Based Success

EMDR therapy is an evidence-based treatment that is supported by numerous clinical studies. It has been extensively researched and is recognized by organizations like the American Psychological Association (APA) and the World Health Organization (WHO) as an effective treatment for trauma and PTSD. These endorsements highlight EMDR’s credibility and success in treating those with traumatic experiences.

Non-Invasive, Drug-Free Treatment

Unlike some trauma treatments that rely on medication or invasive procedures, EMDR therapy is a non-invasive and drug-free option. This makes it particularly appealing for people who wish to avoid pharmaceuticals or have not had success with medications. Additionally, EMDR has fewer side effects than other treatments, allowing individuals to heal without the concerns that often accompany medication.

Helps Rewire the Brain’s Response to Trauma

Trauma can cause a person’s brain to "freeze" the memory in a highly emotional state, creating negative, persistent feelings like anxiety and fear. EMDR therapy uses bilateral stimulation (e.g., eye movements or tapping) to encourage both hemispheres of the brain to process the memory more thoroughly. Over time, this helps the brain to reframe and reduce the emotional charge associated with traumatic memories.

Promotes Emotional Regulation and Resilience

Traumatic experiences often lead to heightened emotional responses such as anger, sadness, or hypervigilance. By reprocessing the trauma through EMDR, individuals can develop better emotional regulation and resilience. As the emotional intensity of traumatic memories decreases, clients report feeling more balanced, calm, and in control of their emotions.

Addresses the Root Cause of Symptoms

While other therapies may focus on managing symptoms, EMDR helps to address the root cause of trauma symptoms by targeting the traumatic memories themselves. By processing and desensitizing the emotional charge around these memories, EMDR therapy facilitates long-term healing. This means that clients are not just masking symptoms but actively working through their trauma at the source.

Who Can Benefit from EMDR Therapy?

EMDR therapy can help anyone who has experienced trauma, including individuals with:

• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

• Childhood abuse or neglect

• Accidents or natural disasters

• Witnessing violence or abuse

• Loss of a loved one

• Combat veterans

• Sexual assault or abuse survivors

EMDR is beneficial for people dealing with single-event trauma or complex trauma and is effective for both adults and adolescents. If your past experiences continue to impact your current mental health, EMDR therapy can offer a transformative path to recovery.

How Does EMDR Therapy Work?

During an EMDR session, the therapist guides the client to recall specific memories related to trauma. Through a series of bilateral stimulation techniques—such as following the therapist’s fingers with eye movements or listening to alternating sounds—the brain begins to process and reframe the memory. Over time, the emotional charge attached to the memory is reduced, allowing the individual to gain a healthier perspective and release the trauma. Sessions are conducted in a safe and supportive environment, where clients are empowered to work at their own pace, allowing them to feel in control of their healing journey.

Stuck in the Cycle of Abuse?

Many people who find themselves in abusive relationships find themselves confused and say things like "when it's good it's good, but when it's bad it's really bad." If you've said this before you are not alone. You may be one of the millions of people experiencing Intimate Partner Violence or "IPV". Intimate Partner Violence can happen once, twice, or many times and can occur on a spectrum of severity. It can occur between current or former intimate partners and it does not require sexual intimacy or cohabitation. Intimate Partner Violence comes in all sorts of forms:

• Emotional/psychological - gaslighting, threats, splitting, parental alienation, intimidation, misusing pronouns, threatening to "out" a partner's sexual orientation etc.;

• Physical - hitting, punching, slapping, kicking, choking, etc.;

• Verbal  - screaming, name-calling, criticizing in front of others, being demeaning, insults, etc.;

• Financial/Economic - forcing someone to not work, limiting access to funds, locking you out of the shared domicile, etc.;

• Sexual - rape, non-consensual sexual encounters, reproductive coercion, public displays of affection without consent, etc.;

• Technological - cyberstalking, using tracking devices and cameras, monitoring texts, phone calls, social medica, and/or electronic health records, etc.;

• Health-care - tampering with medication or decisions related to medications, preventing you from seeing providers on your own, not allowing access to gender-affirming care, etc.

The Cycle of Abuse

Many people often express being stuck in a cycle with their abusive partners and not understanding why they find it so difficult to leave. This is because of the intermittent reinforcement that occurs between periods of tension and abusive incidents and periods of calm and "honeymooning." Trauma bonding to the person using violence occurs during this cycle. Trauma bonding is the unhealthy attachment that one has to an abusive partner. Essentially the intermittent reinforcement via moments of being loved versus moments of being abused creates an unhealthy attachment cycle where the one being abused is often stuck waiting for a glimmer of hope, which they eventually always get -- in the honeymoon and calm phases of the abuse cycle. This keeps them hooked, so to speak.

During the tension phase, stress begins to blossom between partners and the person experiencing violence may attempt to reduce said tension by complying with or consoling the person using violence. Of course, tension in a serious relationship is normal at times, but the difference is how the parties in the relationship resolve the tension. Is it through violence or working out issues in a safe manner that brings you closer to one another? The abusive incident phase is where different forms of abuse will occur in a relationship with IPV. The honeymoon phase is where the person using violence will apologize or show remorse with acts meant to lure you back in. They may promise that they will never abuse you again. The calm phase is quite literally the calm before the storm - the period where things abuse stops or slows down before tension begins to build again leading to further abusive incidents.

Resources

Know that you are not alone. There are resources to help you. Store 24/7 warmlines in a safe, discreet way such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233). Many counties also have domestic violence agencies with local 24/7 hotlines, including some state hotlines. These hotlines can link you with resources to include shelter, legal advocacy, and safety planning.

Seek the support of an experienced therapist who specializes in these issues and who can help educate you on abuse and empower you through the process of making difficult decisions. A seasoned therapist can also help you come up with a safety plan and continue to refine it as the situation changes.  

Websites to Know

National Domestic Violence Hotline: https://www.thehotline.org/

National Sexual Assault Hotline: https://rainn.org/

Find Shelter: https://www.domesticshelters.org/

Futures without Violence: https://www.futureswithoutviolence.org/

Also check out the secure "myPlan" app for resources and warmlines information: https://myplanapp.org/

Books to Check Out:

• "Out of the Fog: Moving from Confusion to Clarity after Narcissistic Abuse" by Dana Morningstar

• "Why Does He Do That?" By Lundy Bancroft

• "Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft

• "The Gaslighting Recovery Workbook: Healing from Emotional Abuse" by Amy Marlow-MaCoy

• "Recover and Rebuild Domestic Violence Workbook: Moving On from Partner Abuse" by Stacie Freudenberg

None of these resources or books are sponsored. These are simply resources that I have found helpful in my practice and that I've personally used with clients seeking support.